Building Strong Relationship in '09 part 3

The Conflict of Desires
James 4:1-10
1. Where does conflict come from? Why do we get angry? P77
a. Luke 6:45
b. Why do we respond to people and situations differently? P78
2. Desires precede, determine and characterize everything you do.

3. A war of desires is constantly being fought inside each of us. It is a war for control of our hearts, lives and behavior! P79

4. A heart ruled by a certain desire. P 80

a. I can only respond 2 ways….
i.
ii.
5. “It is not wrong to desire relaxation at the end of a long day. It is wrong to be ruled by relaxation in such a way that I am irritated with anyone who gets in the way. It is not wrong to desire the tender attention of your (spouse). It is wrong to be so ruled by it that your days are filled with bitterness because of its absence and your nights are filled with manipulative attempts to get it.”
pg 80-81

6. Spiritual Adultery
a. If adultery is the sin of giving someone the love I have promised another, then Spiritual adultery is giving the rule of my heart to someone or something other than God. James 4:4

7. Jealousy, a good thing?

a. God is a jealous God.
“How would you react if your husband plopped down on the couch, pulled you close and said, “dear, of all the women I love, tonight I think I love you the most?” You would not be encouraged, You would be outraged! True love is ALWAYS Jealous.” Pg 84
8. The Slippery slope pg 87
a. Desire becomes demand “I Must”
b. Demand morphs into need “I Will”
c. Need becomes something to painful to live without.

9. Problem –
a. Others are unaware of your slide down the slope!
b. They do not meet your expectations
c. You are disappointed
d. Your disappointment leads to anger
e. Anger leads to punishment (“because you didn’t, I will …”)

10. The solution James 4:7-10
a. First Vertical
i. Humble ourselves
ii. Submit to God
iii. Cleanse our hearts.
“You cant keep the second commandment unless you are keeping the first.”
b. Then Horizontal.
i. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

11. Galatians 5:13-26 for further study.